June 21st, Drastic Measures Cum Hotel Extravaganza

I recently resorted to drastic measures.  The discord between Kelly and myself had manifested itself in too many facets of my non-monogamous life.  It was unsettling going to the clubs and feeling her ire toward me as well as her flat out ill-disguised rejection of my husband.  It was painful to effectively sacrifice Bill as a friend because of my wretched relationship with his wife.  Our connection had always been a virtual friendship by virtue of our distant physical localities, but, despite this, it had taken on a significant place in my life.  And now that Bill was back in the US after a stint overseas, it was exceedingly disquieting seeing him when I knew that I was not welcome to approach. Both Kelly and Bill had made this exceedingly clear to me. Kelly’s disdain for me began to influence by extension my play and my friendships with other playmates.  Her protracted tentacles stretched far and influenced mightily.  While I did not believe it was her premeditated intent, it was pervasive nonetheless.  The situation had become untenable for me and it had to be improved.  This lifestyle was quite simply too valuable for me to allow such continued dissonance.

So, I made a third attempt to reconcile our differences.  This was literally my third bid to sit down with Kelly and get to the root of our disharmony.  The first time was in her formal living room. She was polite yet not remotely receptive.  She heard nothing I said, talk at me with trivial, non-stop small talk nearly the entire encounter, and in retrospect I do not think she was even aware that I was trying to reconcile.  The second time in a Thai restaurant she was distantly friendly and chatty about the lifestyle and non-monogamy and used her professional expertise to evade my purpose and to redirect the conversation toward me, my newness to non-monogamy and the challenges faced in the lifestyle.  She was somewhat more receptive in her presentation but successfully reverted the dialogue back onto me resulting in her indirect refusal to open her own wounds to get to the root of our problem.  But this last time…this last time we both came to the table with directness, openness and honesty that allowed us to actually reach the core of the issue and we agreed to try again to be friends. 

Our misunderstandings and misinterpretations of each other were remarkable but as real to each of us as could be.  One’s perception of the world is quite simply one’s reality – even when it is nowhere near the reality in truth.  She explained her impressions and understandings of my actions and of me personally.  I was stunned and hurt that I could be interpreted so profoundly inaccurately.  It never fails to blow me away to learn that the woman that people perceive me to be can be so drastically different from who I actually am.  I am blunt and direct, or altogether evasive, but respectful.  I have always expected others to be equally candid and forthright with me.  I have never been conniving or deceptive. I never intentionally reached out to hurt other women with words.  But, when I keep to myself and do not say much, it leaves other people to fill in the blanks.  And, not surprisingly, I suppose, when I do speak up I am often misunderstood.

The conversation between Kelly and I was also an opportunity for self-reflection and sharing.  We both had the chance to come clean with our own actions and illuminate some of the misunderstandings.  We both realized that we judged each other inaccurately and too harshly and that was not fair to either of us.  Amazingly, we agreed to start our friendship from scratch, with a clean slate based on the knowledge that we both came to the table with the best of intentions and that we possessed interests and life experiences that intersected more than happens with most people. We had a ripe foundation from which to build a friendship.

For me, my efforts toward reconciliation were nothing short of earthshakingly monumental.  I extended myself light years beyond my comfort zone trying to make peace with Kelly.  I was somewhat flummoxed by my efforts because they were entirely out of character for me.  I had never, ever made this level of effort to resolve differences with a woman before – never in my life. This was not what I did. I could only conclude that my newfound pleasure in the non-monogamous lifestyle and the resultant community that was developing was infinitely more valuable to me that I had realized. I desperately wanted this to work.  I wanted it to work at the core of my being, enough to rock me into action and wildly uncharted relationship territory.

With an agreement to start from scratch and try to be friends, Kelly and I began to communicate more often and more openly, particularly about sexy topics.  Not long after our reconciliation I was randy as hell and said as much to Kelly. Nick was overseas and I was getting ready to travel to visit high school friends over the coming weekend.  Coincidentally, Kelly had travel plans for the same weekend.  Since our flights were early on a Saturday morning, Kelly offered to let me share her airport hotel room.  We jokingly talked about going out to a nearby bar and flirting with local men to see if we could drum up some naughty anonymous hotel action.  At some point in the instant messaging conversation, a light bulb went off for Kelly and she provocatively suggested that the acclaimed sexual services of Bill could be made available, should I wish to ask for them. But, I had to ask.

Now I was floored and literally left short of breath by the outlandish offer.  Was it an offer?  Was it a joke?  Was she serious? Was Bill receptive? Kelly was all but saying I could fuck her husband for the asking.  But she (and presumably he) wanted me to ask.  I was acutely intrigued, extraordinarily ambivalent and phenomenally anxious about the potential repercussions for Kelly and I as well as Bill and I.  Did I want to fuck Bill?  Absolutely.  I had been thinking about it since we met 9 months earlier.  Did I want to risk my friendship with Kelly and take the sexual plunge?  I was entirely uncertain that this was an advisable course of action.  Is this the way that I wanted to get physical with Bill?  Definitely not.  Would accepting this offer put the final nail in the coffin of my friendship with Bill? Maybe. Did I eventually, after much cajoling by Kelly and incredible indecisive squirming on my part, move forward with the proposition?  Yes, I did.  Why? I guess I figured that it might be my only opportunity to be with Bill and our relationship was already about at rock bottom, so what did I have to lose?  I also did not want to turn down what appeared to be a genuinely friendly and open offer by Kelly to share her husband with me.

I met Bill and Kelly at their home.  It was awkward as hell, but there I was nonetheless.  Once I committed, I was in for the duration – good, bad or otherwise.  I jumped feet first and prepared to deal with the consequences later.  We all headed up to the airport in our three vehicles and eventually managed to meet at the hotel.  Kelly and I arrived first and checked in.  It was a little bit uncomfortable entering a hotel room where I was planning to fuck her husband.  But again, she had offered and was holding firm on her overture.  Bill arrived shortly after us, having missed the highway exit for the hotel.  He appeared to be about as uncomfortable as I was.   Luckily, Kelly had a playmate meeting us as well.  I was thrilled that there would be a fourth person.  I had been somewhat distressed with the idea that we were entering into a threesome or that Kelly would just hang out and watch Bill and me fucking.  I had been in that position many times with Ron and Nora.  Sometimes I did not mind, but it could be disconcerting and seriously distract from the depth and quality of a sexually intense moment. And getting to know Bill under the watchful eyes of Kelly left me nauseatingly nervous.

Kelly left Bill and I alone in the room while she went to pick up her date from the train station.  Bill and I were a bit like cornered animals.  We were stiff and awkward, uncomfortable even in simple conversation. We were apprehensive about what the evening might hold but yet cautiously eager in an opaque kind of way. We postponed physical proximity making excuses to delay as long as we could.  We ordered pizza and Bill declared that we should wait for the pizza to arrive lest we have to answer the door in a compromising state of dress.  An absurd excuse but a clear indication that he was just as uneasy as I was with the whole ludicrous situation.  I could not be sure what Bill was wanting or thinking.  He was entirely ambiguous in his manner and closed in his thoughts, not allowing his feeling or emotions to be shared with me.  I had little data to interpret.  It felt as if we were devoid of any valid connection and that was painful for me.  I remember wondering if I should head for the hills before it was too late.  It was a rough place to be for me, especially with a man, with whom I had developed such a deep, though currently defunct, friendship. 

Eventually, Kelly returned with Max, one of her favorite playmates. And sometime thereafter, sexual play began for all parties.  I was with Bill on the queen size bed nearest the window. Kelly and Max occupied the bed nearest the hotel room door.  I have not the slightest idea how Bill and I began to get physical.  None what so ever.  Zero memory of the initiation.   The entire scene and particularly the encounter between Bill and I unfolded unnaturally, almost forced, and in no way spontaneous. We seemed determined to make something happen rather than to let ‘us’ evolve organically. Bill and I knew each other almost intimately at a distance, but in proximity we were next to strangers.

We were physically aggressive with each other, with our initial kissing and touching. We stumbled and fumbled through a physical desire that was clearly present on the surface of our beings, yet the underlying discomfort was enormous and undeniable. Despite the elephant in the room, Bill and I seemed determined to do the deed.  Thinking about fucking Bill for so many months and sexy instant messaging with him from a great distance left me with a strong animalistic desire to be with him.  This despite my inner-self screaming at me all the while to wait, to stop, to go slow, to value this friendship and not risk damage by doing what we had come to do.

But, I had already jumped into the murky waters feet first and was sinking rapidly.  I remember Bill moving his body over mine, his razor sharp chest hair stubble rubbing roughly over my breasts and abdomen.  It was a discomfort that I had not anticipated and it very much took me by surprise.  During the sexual exchanges that ensued, we were at times unduly aggressive in our oral sex – both of us intentionally or inadvertently (which I am not entirely sure in either case) - verging on inflicting corporeal discomfort on the other.   Despite this I have a strong recollection of Bill’s alluring, substantial cock resting solid as a rock on his abdomen and I recall the feel of his cock in my hands, the smooth, luscious firmness of his member in my mouth and my oddly exquisite desire to savor his cock as if it was some exotic delicacy. It was a most unusual recollection for me.

We fucked long and hard.  We fucked as if we had something to prove.  Bill fucked me harder that I have ever been fucked by anyone, before or since.  With his rock hard cock thrusting aggressively and vigorously inside my pussy, he practically nailed me to the headboard, over and over again.  I was overwhelmed by the intensity of the physicality of the carnal ravishing. My body could not quietly contain the magnitude of the sexual merging.  I responded enthusiastically and almost violently in orgasmic revelry. My sounds of unadulterated pleasure emanated loudly.  I could not form words I was so overcome by the animalistic nature of our fucking.

Kelly and Max fucked unreservedly and with obvious orgasmic gratification on the bed next to us.  I reveled in the sights and sounds of their passionate copulation while Bill and I were indulging in sexual intermissions.  Kelly was entertainingly vocal in her sexual interactions and euphoric declarations.  She made certain her sexual partners were crystal clear on how to proceed and on exactly what her body needed to reach the pinnacle of carnal ecstasy.

Our dueling sexual encounters volleyed from one bed to the other with a progressive flow of wildly orgasmic sounds continuously emanating from the hotel room. Each couple had the opportunity to savor watching the other couple in ecstatic fucking and to enjoy being observed in an overtly exhibitionist fashion.  At one point during the night, Max and Kelly were cuddled on their bed watching Bill and I fucking vigorously, as if they were attending some sort of professional entertainment event.  Max excitedly declared something to the effect of, “this was well worth the price of admission!”  The hilarity of the scene was one of the lightest and most entertaining moments of the evening for me.  For a split second the gravity and complexity of the evenings events completely escaped me. And then the back and forth sexual engagement between the beds repeated itself.  Each couple watching the other fucking repeatedly pumped us all up for action and our two couples took turns fucking over and over again late into the night.  I came again and again – a euphoric delectation impossible to deny once I attained that state of raw carnal pleasure.

Our sexual escapades wound down in the wee hours of the morning.  I tried to sleep but found it to be impossible.  Aside from the utter novelty of the situation, which in and of itself was enough to keep sleep at bay, I was on a bed with Bill that afforded me no alternative other than to roll into him full on.  And that was just not a comfortable state of being for me!  So I did not sleep.

Well before the sun rose, Kelly prepared to depart for her flight.  Bill and Max were oblivious to the world when she left.  I wished her a safe journey, thanked her for the generosity she displayed by sharing her husband with me and gave her a hug (she fully dressed, me entirely nude). And then I closed the hotel room door behind her as she departed.

After Kelly left, I laid in bed realizing that I was in a hotel room totally nude with two men that I really did not know.  I mused at what these sorts of circumstances could lead to.  A while later, I watched Max quietly move about the room dressing and gathering his belongings and then he quietly snuck out, leaving Bill and I alone in the room.  This state of being was unbelievably disconcerting for me. Alone. In a hotel room. With Bill.  I was amazed at how this had come to be.

In the morning, Bill and I lay together for a while, we talked a bit, but we were still uneasy and wary with each other. I silently lamented my decision to plunge into this situation and not let it evolve organically over time.  If Bill and I had just met, fucking would have been easy. And in some ways I regretted that exactly that had not happened nine months prior.  But, over the course of time, we had had extensive exchanges – sometimes intensely personal and intimate - and had built the foundation of a potentially durable connection and I was vested in that budding friendship. I hoped that we could find our way back to being friends, though I had my doubts.  I strenuously questioned the wisdom of my actions the night before and felt a sharp twinge of regret.

Bill was sending conflicting messages in the morning. On one hand he seemed to want to spend time with me, suggesting that he was sexually interested in some morning fun. But on the other hand, there were subtle signals that indicated a need to put space between us and to distance ourselves from the events of the night before. We showered individually, dressed and departed rapidly with a perfunctory parking lot good-bye. 

The tangible effects of the night lasted for days.  I was unbelievably sore.  My cunt and my hips ached from the extraordinary pounding that I had eagerly, yet reluctantly, taken from Bill.  This was the only time since my teenage years that I felt the carnal repercussions for days afterward.  It was a shocking revelation for me to realize what an extraordinary corporeal gift Bill had given me.  I had been craving the exquisitely aching and bruised feeling of being fucked relentlessly for years. And there it was. The side effect of a very awkward, contrived sexual encounter with a man that I absolutely wanted to fuck….just not under those circumstances.

June 8th, Getting Back on the Cock

Shortly after the Memorial weekend debacle, Nick left for another overseas trip. Tempers and emotions had leveled off significantly since the Fabio incident and Nick had recanted much of what had been said in the heat of the moment.  He saw that the Lifestyle was good for me and good for us.  And while Nick had had a sometimes difficult time adjusting to non-monogamy, it was a path that he wished to continue.  Given this, Nick encouraged me to get back on the horse – and soon.  Because he was traveling he wanted to be sure that I be with trusted Lifestyle friends.  He told me that he trusted Ron and Nora and felt comfortable with me going out to a club if I was under their wing for the night. Ron and Nora had never been anything but honorable in their intentions and Nick trusted them to look after me.

With a bit of trepidation, I headed down to the swinger’s club in the next state over, and checked into the usual raunchy motel.  I was nervous and hesitant about the entire evening.  I was a bit puzzled by how I felt, but the sting of memorial weekend endured and I was just not enthusiastic about this outing.  Nora and Ron eventually arrived at the motel.  We all dressed in our evening attire and headed out to the club.

When we arrived at the club I was not feeling particularly adventurous and was definitely gun shy.  My strong ambivalence and unusual discomfort was surprising for me, but I knew I needed to get back on the cock and continue my journey forward in the realm of non-monogamy.  Soon after arriving at the club, Ron and I headed to the couple’s room on the first floor to play. As usual, the couple’s room was equipped with six futon beds, with three on each side and gauzy curtains wafting between the beds allowing for voyeuristic and exhibitionist opportunities. And sometimes the misty shrouds between the beds were pulled back and couple’s merged to engage in group sexual activities….but not as often as one might expect.   

Ron’s touch was slowly awakening my peculiarly reticent desire. While I was definitely gun shy, my sexual wantonness was gradually being stirred up by our mutual attraction and was overcoming my reluctance with Ron.  The electrical current from the touch of Ron’s skin on mine coursed through my body, dissolved my disinclination to engage, and successfully revived my primal sexual instinct.

Ron and I found ourselves in a whirlwind of tumbling, urgent, heated sex that comes with carnal hunger and physical familiarity. We know each other’s bodies well at this point and delight in mutual pleasure. The sexual charge I received from Ron’s physical proximity was still astonishing for me.  It was definitively a primal instinct that is utterly base in its origins.  While sex between us was familiar after eight months of periodic intense sexual encounters, it was not mundane in any way.  Some mysterious combination of a chemical cocktail and an actual electrical charge between us persists and sex is always exciting even when the positions themselves are commonplace.

Ron’s ability to take me from zero to squirting G-Spot orgasm in lightening speed is phenomenal.  I am just so easy in his hands.  Just unbelievably easy – both in the sense of reaching body-wracking orgasms and in my willingness, nay eagerness, to accept Ron’s cock inside my body with just a suggestive gesture.  And this night was no different. I was eager, ready and wanton.  Our sex was superb, his cock was delightful in my mouth.  “69” was never at the top of my sexual playlist, but it has become a fun and anticipated part of playing with familiar Lifestyle partners.  But most of all I loved receiving his cock inside my pussy.  I love penetration and Ron’s shaft is a particular favorite.

Nora opted not to play tonight.  She said her pussy was scratched from her lively sexual encounters the previous evening and she did not want anyone touching her pussy on this night.  So she deferred entirely from sexual play for most of the night and spent a fair bit of time watching Ron and I play.  I could not tell how she felt about watching me fuck her husband.  She held an unreadable expression that could be interpreted as boredom, annoyance, or apathy.  This made me somewhat uncomfortable but my repeated queries to her elicited strictly positive and always encouraging words.  So, taking her at her word, Ron and I fucked like sex-crazed bunnies.

During a sexual interlude, Ron and I were trolling the club looking for possible sexual partners to engage.  However, I was decidedly not flirtatious and was not exuding sexy ‘come hither’ vibes.  I was terrifically wary and not ready to expose myself to another man given the deception and its repercussions from Memorial weekend.  But, I was really trying to get back on the horse and was determined to fuck another man tonight whether I enjoyed it or not! But, I moved as a unit with Ron and Nora and was not comfortable exploring on my own.  My lack of independence and neediness that night still surprises and disappoints me.

After our rather unsuccessful trolling and time spent watching other couples in various stages of sexual rendezvous, Ron, Nora and I returned to the couple’s room.  The room was filled to the brim with copulating couples.  The three of us sat on the bench at the back of the room with Ron in the middle – FMF.  Ron’s hands busy with his fingers in both my cunt and Nora’s pussy.  His hard cock in my hand holding promise.  Our threesome was sitting next to another couple; the man leaned back with his cock being sucked on by an attractive plump woman on her knees.  He was watching Ron’s fingers in my pussy with lust in his eyes.  He asked to touch me and then he asked to finger fuck me.  I said yes and opened myself up to his touch while his partner continued to suck his cock.   Nora was sucking on Ron’s cock.

After a bit of time, Ron asked the man if he wanted the cock sucking women to switch cocks.  Needless to say that this was a popular idea and Nora moved to suck on this man’s cock while he fingered me and gently moved me down to eat my pussy.  And the other woman began to enjoy Ron’s cock.  A room full of fucking, sucking and fingering people was a sight to enjoy.  The visual stimulation significantly surpassed the sheer physical pleasure that I was receiving but I was eager to get back on a new cock.  So, when the futon next to us opened up and he asked if he could fuck me I said yes.  Nora moved back and this man took me on the futon. Ron and the other woman joined us so the four of us were fucking side-by-side while Nora watched. Later Nora said that the man had ‘wanted me’ and not her.  If I had thought that Nora wanted this man I would have backed away, but she had said she did not want to fuck anyone tonight.  So I was a bit confused and hoped that I had not inadvertently cock blocked her.

On the futon, I was on my back with a new cock tentatively thrusting into my pussy.  It was not one of the more exciting sexually experiences I had had, but it was a new cock in my pussy and I was achieving the goal (getting back on the cock/horse) I had for myself on this night.  A petty reason to engage in a sexual encounter, perhaps.  But, a fact nonetheless.  For the short period of time when he was able to maintain his erection he was good but he was so nervous about his performance that he was unable to stay hard and was embarrassed.  I did not know that this was his first club visit. He kept looking over at his partner and Ron fucking next to us.  He seemed genuinely concerned about her; a woman I assumed was his wife. But, she was apparently just a friend and they both wanted to have lascivious sex with strangers so here they were doing just that.  They came to the club together, but they were not committed partners.

While fucking, my eyes were closed, Ron was fucking her hard and I heard her ask if she could touch me, I said yes.  My eyes still closed, I reached out to touch her.  And for the first time in a sexual encounter was utterly perplexed about what part of a woman’s body I was touching. I was truly flummoxed. I could not identify by touch where my hand was on her body. At this point I opened my eyes and realized that my hand had been on her waist, but that she was such a large woman that my ability to distinguish was completely obscured.  She was on her hands and knees being fucked doggy style by Ron. Her body absorbed all the available space.  She was a physically generous woman.  I had never been so surprised by size in a sexual encounter.  Later when Ron and I were talking, I told him about this experience and he told me that he actually had difficulty maintaining an erection to fuck her in part because he had trouble finding where to put his cock. Oddly, up until that moment on the bed she did not strike me as obese, just large. 

Later upstairs, the man approached me and told me how good my pussy tasted and how he really enjoyed touching and eating me.  He was embarrassed that he could not keep his erection and please me. I was taken aback by this deferential, apologetic approach. I reassured him and said that there were no expectations and certainly no judgment.  I told him he should not judge himself by what he thinks other expected of him and his performance in this environment.  This night was his first time at a swingers club and he was nervous.  He was perfectly fine and I tried to help him feel better.

Ron and I were both in need of a fucking nightcap as our satisfaction level with the night’s adventures was less than stellar.  We both needed a good, solid, all encompassing orgasmic fuck. We headed to a back room behind the dining area.  The room was so cold! Ron took the trash receptacle and turned it over on the AC vent to reduce the blow factor.  The chill soon dissipated as Ron and I heated up with our greedy, hungry sexual merging. Nora sat in a chair by the entrance to the room, watched and waited while Ron and I sated our carnal desires.

The three of us headed back to the motel for what little remained of the night.  With my energy significantly lower than usual and my enthusiasm curbed, we actually went to sleep. Ron was in the middle as usual, with Nora on the very far side of the bed making space for the possible. This was perhaps the first night I shared with Ron that we did not have sex back at the motel before falling to sleep. I had a fitful sleep, which would probably have been calmed by a good hard, orgasmic fuck, but then again my mind had not been in the right place all night.

In the morning we roused ourselves slowly with evident ardor. Ron and I began touching and his erection reached out for me and was utterly irresistible.  I could not pass up and opportunity to fuck a good hard cock, especially this magnificent cock!  It was like an enticing, overpowering magnet – I saw it, my pulse quickened, my respiration increased, my skin flushed and my eyes dilated. I wanted it bad and I want immediately.

Luck was not on our side this morning either! We were right in the middle of having great sex. Ron was slamming his cock into my pussy and my body was responding with tremendous orgasms that were building in strength…and then a Charlie horse foiled us. Ron had a muscle cramp of epic proportions in his hamstring.  Regrettably, it derailed us mid intercourse, but what is a guy to do?  So we took a break, Nora and I enjoyed coffee kisses from Ron.  Hot coffee on my clit and pussy in general is pleasantly stimulating if not exactly erotic.  I liked it and was still randy from our interrupted sexual frenzy earlier in the morning.  After coffee we did something we had never really done.  We lounged around the room. Usually I am off fairly quickly for home to relieve the babysitter, but today I had rare time and space.

We just hung out and relaxed and contemplated going to the beach. Eventually Nora said something to the effect of, “she needs a cock, I think you better fuck her again.” Now that is paraphrased but summarizes the gist of Nora’s words pretty accurately.  How many husbands have their wives suggest they fuck another woman?  Of course, I thought Ron fucking me again was an excellent idea!  I just cannot get enough of his erotic energy, his sexual prowess and his cock.  And great sex was had….again.

Once we were sexually sated, Nora, Ron and I headed off for delectable breakfast and some relaxing time at the local nude beach.  Beach time was lovely.  It was just warm enough but not too hot yet and allowed me to nearly melt into the sand in a state of utter relaxation.  I was bushed from a restless night and dozed on the beach for a while.  When not dozing Ron and I walked on the beach talking casually with each other while accidentally and deliberately brushing up against each other suggestively. The breeze on the beach was slightly chilly on my naked body and I felt my nipples tighten under a gentle waft of cool air. That and the proximity to Ron’s pheromones was making me horny again. I wanted beach sex…a very sandy, distant memory from a beach in Spain when I was 16 surfaced in my consciousness.  But, sex on a crowded beach – even hidden in the bushes - required more bravery than I could summon.  I felt reluctance on Ron’s part when I said I wanted to return to our place on the beach, but he did not share his thoughts with me.

When we arrived back at our sandy beach nest, I could feel someone watching me intently from a distance.  His shape, size, movement and distant energy were absolutely unmistakable.  It was the disreputable Fabio from two weekends prior.  I felt a simultaneous repulsion and dangerous erotic pull.  He watched me and I watched him.  He was used to being desired and pursued; he strutted about, streaming cool river water over his gleaming bronze body that was so enticing that I could literally still feel his skin under my fingertips.  He purposefully waded to a nearby boat and positioned himself on the boat in my direct line of sight and waited expectantly for me to approach. He was playing an age-old game and waiting for me to make a move. I dared not for multiple reasons beyond basic self-respect.  And besides, I rarely choose to make the first move.  I did, in fact, have a lot to say to Fabio and would have loved to talk to him about the incident the previous weekend. But, I doubted myself and my ability to be even keeled – never mind my on-going lust - and I seriously doubted his capacity to actually be receptive to what I had to say, so I let the opportunity pass.  And we merely watched each other from a wary distance. I think he was actually afraid to approach and hoped that I would make the first move. But, I have never played these sorts of games and would not start now.

As I lay on the beach, Ron’s fingers ever so gently brushed up against my left nipple making it respond with a swift hardness. My response to his touch was uncontrollable and undeniable.  My fingertips lightly grazed his cock and he immediately began to stiffen.  We were on the dangerous end of desire in a very public place where overt public displaces of sexuality were not permitted.  We were interrupted in our mutual, subtle teasing by an approaching man.

Ron told me that this man wanted to meet me having seen me at the club the night before.  Strange because I did not recall seeing him at all the night before, but then again I did not have my usual man antennae up and functioning. Rather I was like and ostrich with my head in the sand a good portion of the night or was busy fucking Ron.

I was introduced to Ken and then Ken talked and talked and talked.  Hmmmm, I was getting the definite impression that he would never shut up.  Unfortunately for Ken, I was primarily interested in play partners for their sexual skill, rock hard cocks and lasting endurance…not their conversational abilities.  At some point Ron made reference to a Gang Bang and I blushed because the most extreme sexual fun I have had yet was a Gang Bang…and because I just blush easily when thinking about super sexy fun.  Ken immediately took up my interest in wild multiple sex partner events and boasted about how long he and his friend could stay hard to please women and told a story about a very specific Gang Bang in which he participated.  I was non-pulsed and was actually annoyed that he would share this level of detail about another sexual encounter with me.  And I was very annoyed that he would not take a hint and go away.  I really just wanted to relax on the beach and be left alone.

Finally it was time to depart. Ron and I were gathering my things and Ken came over to say good-bye looking for a full-body naked hug.  I offered my hand to shake his.  It was one of the funniest moments I have witnessed in a long, long time!  His expression was priceless. But, truthfully, I really did not want to hug or encourage him!  Despite this, I told him that I was totally fucking with him and gave him a cursory hug.

After saying goodbye to Nora, Ron and I wound our way through the trees and brush toward the car.  We stopped in the middle of the pathway kissing and touching.  He slid his hand up my dress and his fingers entered my warm, moist pussy.  We lightly considered the option of jumping in the bush, but deferred the desire. Once we got back to my car we were both so randy that we could have easily have fucked right then and there….but it was way more public than it should have been to allow for a parking lot quickie.  And there were other people and cyclists in the parking lot noticing us. We were both sorely tempted.  While heatedly kissing and ardently stroking his cock, Ron finger fucked my pussy while I was half in and half out of my car.   Despite our undeniable lascivious desire, we cut it short, said goodbye and were both left physically aching for more and more.

May 25th, The Day After and Then Some

Note: To those of you linking to this site from erotically charged naughty websites, BE WARNED! This particular post is filled with raw emotion, agonizing turmoil and marital discord.  If you are just visiting BlissfullyOpen for the sexy, I suggest you read my prior posts instead.  They are all waaaaay more in line with what you are looking for!

It was a rough night for me trying to reconcile myself with the unfortunate events of yesterday evening with Fabio.  I woke with low spirits in the morning and was downright despondent about the impending discussion with Nick. Though I hoped that he would be able to be even keeled, I had my doubts.

I refused, however, to let the Fabio incident completely ruin an entire Lifestyle weekend.  Ron was as eager as ever to spend sexy time with me so we took advantage of our extended opportunity and had a magnificent energizing morning romp on the notorious froggie chair.  I have never been much into morning sex and am fairly lethargic about getting in the groove.  But with some enticing encouragement and the sight of a rock hard cock known to bring me immense pleasure, my inner slut awakened.  I had a phenomenal time as usual, but the initial energy definitely did not come from me.  I needed coaxing.

Afterward we joined Nora in the hot tub and talked about the events of the previous night. Ron was unconditionally supportive of me, saying that I was deceived and was not to blame for what happened.  He felt strongly that communicating the event to Nick was important and that Nick would understand.  I had never considered not telling Nick, but I was significantly less confident that he would understand.   I was more inclined to think that this little bit of Lifestyle drama might just push Nick right over the edge.  Nora, on the other hand, initially gave me the impression that she felt I could have taken more decisive action and that it was likely that Nick would NOT understand the situation and would blame me (though she later was totally supportive).  Yes, in retrospect I absolutely could have done more to ensure that Fabio followed the rules – I could have put the condom on myself, I could have reached down and felt for the condom before penetration, I could have handed Fabio a condom and watched him put it on…, but I erroneously chose to trust him at his word.  It was emotionally damaging to open myself up and have that trust so harshly and summarily expunged.

I was extraordinarily bewildered and had a vast array of conflicting emotions and thoughts. On one hand unprotected sex was a potentially unsafe activity and violated an explicit accord between myself and Nick – even though the boundary was shattered with no intent whatsoever on my part.  I was deceived.  Yet, there were decisive actions that I could have taken that would have altered the outcome of the evening.  I ruminated extensively trying to sort out what had occurred, what was said, what was intended, what was done or not done, and whether I was to blame or not. I struggled mightily over the ‘blame’ issue then and, frankly, still do.  But at this point the castigation is entirely self-generated and internally experienced. I can’t shake it.

I spent the day floating between sex related workshops that the club was offering.  I heard about power dynamics in the BDSM realm and learned a bit about rope play as well as wax play…an area where Nick and I have pleasurably dabbled. I observed a fascinating Dom/Sub couple - she sat on the floor at his feet and proclaimed to follow his every sexual and life instruction without question…extending all the way into mundane daily tasks such as bill paying.  She said she loved being utterly submissive and doing anything and everything that her Dom commanded.  She was erotically charged by the arrangement.  I found her path to be altogether incomprehensible.   Despite the erotic pleasure I derive from a man taking the lead sexually, I think I am principally a dominant woman.  I tend to bristle at being told what to do in most contexts. Despite this fascinating diversion, I was largely unable to delight in or concentrate on the discourse or the hands-on demonstrations, as my mind was thoroughly entrenched in the doom and gloom of my pending conversation with Nick. 

If I did not feel compelled to tell Nick what happened, I would have been able to chalk it up to experience, learn a few lessons and move on in a positive, constructive manner.  I did not want to let this incident slow me down or bring me down; I did not want to dwell on a negative.  The deed was done and I could not go back in time and alter what had happened, I could only choose how I wanted to let it impact my life.  I wanted to take it in stride, learn from it, and keeping move forward.  But, Nick would nearly eliminate that aspiration for me.

 As the afternoon progressed, I became increasingly apprehensive about Nick’s pending arrival and realized that there was just no telling how the evening would evolve.  I decided that I had better take maximum advantage of my sexual freedom and live for the moment…never mind that mid to late afternoon I am routinely at my most lascivious. Ron and I sought out a place to indulge our salacious desires – which was not so easy!  There were workshops in most of the public spaces and the cleaning crew occupied the erotic play zones.  Finally as the cleaning crew was wrapping up their work, Ron and I seized the opportunity and went full tilt on the upstairs froggie chair.

We had been asked to be quick since another workshop would be starting downstairs soon and they did not want sexy clamoring emanating from above during the workshop.  Ron fucked me long, hard and thoroughly. My back arched with pleasure, my body bucked urgently meeting his deep thrusts, my cunt convulsed with orgasmic pleasure repeatedly clutching his cock, craving more and more. As much as I tried to repress my ecstatic cries of the sexual enjoyment I was experiencing, I could not do it.  With each thrust my swollen pussy shuttered in delight and I cried out, with sounds of unmistakable pleasure reverberating through out the play area.  And yet again, I was thoroughly satisfied by Ron’s sexual prowess and for the time being, my primal beast within was appeased.

Ron and I walked down the stairs to find a large group of people – mostly couples – attending a workshop on the importance of communication in the Lifestyle.  The workshop had already started when we emerged from upstairs and I realized that it was quite possible that these folks had just been unavoidably listening to Ron and I fucking upstairs.  It was an odd, somewhat unsettling realization for me – a bizarre reaction by any measure.  I tried to set aside those disconcerting thoughts and joined Kelly sitting on a large bed and tried to mentally engage in the workshop.  It was actually a rather odd grouping since Kelly and I were not friends and the seeming source of our poor relationship was my fucking Ron.  And Bill, Kelly’s husband joined us on the bed.  So there I was, freshly fucked by Ron sitting together with Kelly and her husband, with whom I had had a virtual friendship over many months and who I absolutely wanted to fuck, and her frequent lover, Ron…knowing all the while that she was merely tolerating my presence.  But, there was nowhere else to sit; and Ron and Kelly were play partners with a considerable history so it was more than appropriate for Ron to join Kelly, even if I was present. 

Following the workshop with the evening drawing near, I dressed for what could have been a tremendous, really outrageous sexy night with Nick at the club….depending on how Nick took the news of the condomless fuck with Fabio. Nick was due to arrive soon and I wanted to look drop dead sexy and self assured when he laid eyes on me. He had asked me to wear a lacey body suit, which covered my entire body.  But truthfully, I did not feel sexy in the body suit and I still associated it with a regrettably negative memory from our past.  So, I opted to wear the sexiest outfit I could muster.  It definitely pushed the limits of my personal comfort zone as well as my ability to stand up confidently in front of a crowd – but honestly, one of the biggest gifts that the Lifestyle has given me aside from phenomenal non-monogamous sexual opportunities is a tremendous boost in my own self-confidence. I felt extremely sexy in the chosen outfit and I knew that Nick would like it as well.  Nora was with me while I dressed and completely endorsed my alternate outfit as way sexier than the body suit. I wore super short black lacey shorts with a satin tie in the front that draped down nicely allowing space for a little imagination as to what might be beneath.  My beasts were not so well disguised – they were very much on display with only the slightest hint of modesty.  A sexy beaded shawl draped across my chest exposing my breasts and nipples clearly for anyone to enjoy. By back was left exposed.  I had never worn anything so daring.

As anticipated, when Nick arrived, he was pleased to see me in my barely-there, sexy outfit.  After initial greetings, we went directly to the sleeping area to settle in.  As he changed for the evening I told him I needed to explain something that happened the night before.  Now, it had crossed my mind to wait until after the weekend to tell Nick what had happened so he and we could have a fun night together, but I figured he would be even angrier if I did.  And I did not know if he would have sex with me without a condom now that someone else had and he would be exceptionally pissed to do so this evening without the knowledge of what had happened with Fabio. But telling him was surely going to ruin our rare time out together. 

I waited for Kelly to vacate the room, as I wanted a modicum of privacy to share this sure to be unwelcome news with Nick. Nick’s movements became very measured and he slowed significantly as he listened.  I was direct and told him exactly what had happened.  I explained to him that I had had sex with a man who did not wear a condom and I did not realize it until it was too late; that I had asked the man to wear a condom and that he told me he would.  I told him it was not intentional and that I was sorry that it happened. He stared at me with an expression that I could not interpret and asked me if the man had ejaculated.  I said that I did not know for sure but I did not think so. This fact would prove to be unbelievable to Nick.

We continued to prepare for the evening with little to no response from Nick.  We had a nice dinner with friends and enjoyed the floorshow with an outrageously sexy pole dancer that oozed with raw sensuality and some very edgy suspended rope play.  Nick seemed to be enjoying himself and our dinner companions.  He was attentive through out though somewhat distant.  He did not share with me what he was thinking but I could feel something dangerous brewing.  During dinner I observed Fabio watching us from his table across the dance floor.  He winked and smiled at me, quite obviously unaware of the turmoil that was building within my husband seated next to me.

I encountered Fabio in passing while heading to the ladies room.  He asked how I was – well, I was fine, but I was sure my husband was not.  Fabio gave me a look of uncertain concern.  A few minutes later, Ron approached me to let me know that Nick had asked him to point out Fabio. Nick wanted to talk with him about what had occurred.  I was worried now. And intensely annoyed, because I felt like the incident was between myself and Fabio and that Nick had no place engaging in conversation about me and my sexual encounter directly with Fabio.  I really felt that it was inappropriate for Nick to seek out Fabio.  What happened was between Fabio and myself as an individual.  The blowback affected my relationship with Nick and that is where I felt our discussions should remain, between the two of us.

After dinner Nick and I explored sexually edgy machines, devices, and other BDSM paraphernalia that were available for the sampling - including sex machines, whips, floggers, crops, cat of nine tails, and a St. Andrew’s Cross.  I was interested in watching but was feeling less adventurous than usual given the undercurrents between Nick and myself.  I am still not sure that pain administered in sexual situations will translate into erotic arousal for me.  However, it was crystal clear that one luscious blond woman reached a level of sheer bliss with a well-executed spanking on her ass. I watched as Nora climbed up onto a machine that looked somewhat like gym equipment. She spread her legs wide and as the machine was turned on a dildo thrust in and out of her pussy as her legs were spread wide apart even wider! She was utterly exposed and at the complete mercy of the machine, its rhythm and speed.  It almost seemed as if the machine was designed to split her in half when her legs were widely extended and the faux cock rammed into her.  A sexual torture of sorts in which some people clearly delight…

I opted to try the violet wand for its erotic potential.  I watched as a woman reclined on a table as Alan, a club regular, brought her to amazing sexual heights with the use of electrical shocks on her breasts, directly on her clit and around her vulva.  She achieved orgasm repeatedly at the hands of Alan and his magical electrical device.  She seemed to slip into an ecstatic oblivion as onlookers enjoyed watching her exploits.  I knew the man wielding the electrical sex toy and decided to give it a go.  I slipped off what little clothing I was wearing, climbed up on the table and laid back.  I was not sure that I would be into the electrical shocking toy, however, being a bit of an exhibitionist, I did like being on display in front of spectators.  After confirming that I did not have any metal on my body (possibly too conductive?), Alan began gently applying mild electrical shocks on my breasts, around my areola, and then directly on my nipples.  It was a stimulating sensation, but not one I could categorize as sexually erotic.  It was certainly a curious feeling but so far nothing to write home about.  When Alan moved the device down between my legs I was worried about what the electrical shock would feel like on my pussy.  Regrettably, I found it to be more uncomfortable than exciting.  It just felt like small electric shocks.  I suppose me reaction to this is similar to the non-sensual reaction that I have had to spanking so far. Maybe pain is an acquired taste and I should keep on experimenting.

Unfortunately (or fortunately) the evening did not pan out well for me. I began to feel quite unwell and despite hot tub soaks and a hot shower, I could not get warm.  After making a really good faith effort to participate in the evening’s BDSM educational opportunities and sampling of activities.  I retreated to the sleeping room and crawled into our thick winter sleeping bags.  I was frozen to the bone and shivery shaking all the while.  It seemed like many delirious hours passed before I finally broke out into a cold sweat.  I remember telling Nick that he should go out and have a good time and I hoped that he would realize that I was genuinely unwell and that I was not ‘hiding’ because of what had happened. I recall Ron coming in and being frisky to see if I wanted to play once and a second time to check on me to see if I was okay.  I was not.  Bill and Kelly came in and out a couple of times and at one point I remember Bill expressing surprise that I was not out playing.  I think people thought I was hiding or avoiding a situation but truthfully I was dreadfully unwell. 

I do not know when my fever broke or when Nick came into the room for the night.  I remember Bill and Kelly coming in for their bedding to sleep elsewhere.  I have not the faintest idea when Nora and Ron turned in for the night though they were there when I woke.  I am always a very light sleeper on play nights and was very disconcerted when I woke to find that I had slept the night. In the morning when I woke feeling better, Nick was already up.  I showered and dressed and was looking forward to socializing with friends over breakfast.  This is when Nick pulled the plug and his rage teetered on the brink of exposure.

We left immediately.  I do not think that we could have vacated the club any faster if we tried. Nick urgently wanted out of the club and away – from what exactly I did not know.  We bid a hasty farewell to Ron and Nora who got up to say goodbye to us.  As Nick went for the car I sought out Ron and Nora to tell them that Nick and I were not okay and that we were leaving because of the incident with Fabio. I did not think it was fair to them not to be honest.  They both looked at me with concern. And, honestly, I was concerned too.  I had never seen Nick quite like this and did not know what to expect.  I saw Fabio at the bathroom sink, watching me with a serious and uncomfortable expression on his face.  He clearly knew that something was amiss. I did not engage him.

Nick’s delayed reaction was tremendous and unlike anything I had ever experienced with him. We got into the car and began to drive and he started trembling and just went ballistic.  He was so angry with me that he nearly caused a car accident – scaring me more than a little.  He was insanely furious.  Nick expressed a complete lack of understanding, significant hurt, tremendous fear and venomous anger.  In our 21 years together he had never verbally attacked me so viciously, at such a heavy and intense volume, nor for such a sustained period of time.

Nick directly or indirectly blamed me for what had happened.  It was completely and utterly my fault. How could I not know if Fabio was wearing a condom? Nick implied I could not be trusted if my judgment was so poor. If I could be swept off my feet so easily I obviously could not be relied upon to take care of myself in sexually charged situations. How could I not know if Fabio ejaculated? Nick said he did not want me going out to clubs alone, at all. He demanded to be included in all communications I have with anyone related to the lifestyle.  He was furious because he felt that I did not take sexually transmitted infections seriously – something I find beyond astounding since I have been tested more than once for EVERY conceivable STI since I started having sex outside of our marriage last fall – including the week before this incident.  I have also ALWAYS used condoms. I told Nick that if I had wanted to purposefully not use a condom that it would be with Ron whom I have been with many, many times and with whom have a base level of trust not some guy that I just met!  Nick’s reaction angered me.  He was treating me like a child or an object to be controlled.

In the furious, impassioned moment, Nick insinuated that he sought to close off our open marriage and lifestyle exploration.  He used to criticize me because I did not exude confidence and he no longer found me sexy.  Now he was lamenting that I was confident and he found that to be sexy BUT that he did not know how to manage my new confidence – which he professed more resembled the woman he fell in love with and married.  But truth be told, I think, in retrospect, that to some degree he enjoyed the comfortable and familiar existence with the formerly less confident version of myself.  I found this to be an incomprehensible slap in the face.  He was not happy with me before and does not know what to do with me now.  How could I win?

I attempted to maintain a calm center while Nick raged.  He lashed out, delivering ultimatums and was only able to see the world through his fear-tainted lens.  In the moment, this was quite clearly his version of our reality, but it was decidedly not mine.  Eventually, his cruel and unusual verbal thrashing resulted in an overwhelming anger deep inside me that simply reached its tipping point.  My ire was unleashed along with a stream of sorrowful tears.  I accused him of trying to control me and force me back inside the convenient little box that I had worked so hard to free myself of over the course of the last year. I had been so very unhappy then – for a wide range of reasons some of which involved Nick and others that were all on me - and I would not go back.  I worked hard and found my way out by myself.  This argument was about so much more that a condomless fuck, an open marriage, and the Lifestyle.

With my overwrought emotional response, Nick finally stopped ranting and seemed to be really taking into account what I had said.   I know he disagreed with my assessment but he could not discount how I interpreted and internalized our situation and the harsh words that had so violently permeated our marital space.  About three hours after the verbal assault had begun; Nick decided he would reconsider some of his rash ultimatums. He said he had spoken out of anger as well as deep fear, and in retrospect he had said things he did not mean.  Nick apologized for being so harsh and not at least trying to understand that I too had a difficult experience to process. 

The next morning, Nick wanted to make amends but did not know how and I was thoroughly numb and emotionally detached. This was absolutely the worst fight we had ever had during the course of our relationship. Damage was done; a clingy harmful residue clung to me like a gooey black tar that could not be scraped off. I felt burned, emotionally raw, dismally crushed, colossally depressed, listlessly angry, deeply hurt and profoundly sad.  I was in utter despair after the hours long verbal beating despite the passing of another night. I felt psychologically bruised and battered. I was wounded and remained so for days.  My emotions were a tumultuous roller coaster ride for days afterwards and I could not comprehend what I was feeling or why.  Nor was I willing to share my chaotic emotions with anyone.  I absolutely could not talk to Nick about my emotions at this point. I was too hurt.

On Monday, I felt protective of Fabio, forgiving even. Maybe I had somehow been unclear? Did I say something that could have somehow been misinterpreted that would have led Fabio to believe that condoms were not required?  I was confounded and could not discern reality. I did not understand what I was feeling.  I was still reeling from the verbal lashing with Nick.  Several people strongly encouraged me to report Fabio’s dishonorable behavior to the club to have him potentially banned from the club. 

On Tuesday I was utterly indifferent, embattled and emotionally impaired.  I kept hearing Fabio’s words, “that is not what I do” resounding in my head as I tried to figure out how I could possibly misunderstand those words.  Those words were his response when I asked him why he did not use a condom.  How can he have been honorable and still uttered those words in response to my question?

On Wednesday, I receded into myself and did not want to engage with anyone or be touched in any way.  I was despondent. How could such an intensely pleasurable act lead to such incredible pain for myself and my husband?  And how could it engender such strong responses from Lifestyle friends with whom I had shared but who were not directly involved? I was resentful of the degree of negativity that spun out of a single sexual encounter.  Why was I not allowed to revel in the incredible sexual experience and mark up the incident to a hard lesson learned?  Why did so many people suddenly appear to have a stake in my actions? 

On Thursday I just felt lost and forlorn – every place that I enjoyed suddenly seemed tainted and unsafe.  I was not sure that I could trust anyone again.  I could not imagine going out again.  Yet at this point, Nick was encouraging me to go back out with Ron and Nora and to ‘get back on the horse.’ Nick said that he trusted Ron and Nora to look out for me.  Nick was clear though that I was not to get back on THAT horse, meaning Fabio.

Eventually, I did report Fabio’s behavior to the club.  Club management was incredibly and consistently supportive of me in every way.  When I explained the incident I was told that it was grounds for a lifetime termination of Fabio’s membership.  However, I would only agree to report his actions if I was guaranteed that he would be suspended rather than terminated.  While he was not honest with me, the sex was superb (see the previous post for details!) and I do not want to deny other women of the possibility of fucking him.  And there are plenty of women that would love to fuck Fabio and would not even consider asking him to wear a condom. I also hoped that being suspended from the club would be enough to cause Fabio to reconsider his actions and make more honorable choices in the future.  But……maybe I am too much of an optimist.

Regrettably, I did not return to this club for nearly three months, in part because I no longer felt secure and I was deeply unsure of myself in ways that I cannot even identify. I had been rattled to my core.  And yet, I cannot think of a safer environment in which to explore non-monogamy.

May 24th, A Hard Boundary Broken

Note: I regret that the following post is devoid of illuminating culture details, which would add distinctive clarity to the individual discussed in the subsequent post. The revealing minutiae are excluded to protect and respect identities. Further, particular details of the unfortunate event described below are omitted in order to not reopen hurtful wounds. I focus on the life affirming and positive and defer from much discussion of the negative aspects of this incident. And thus we begin…

I met Fabio at a beach outing with Ron and Nora after the last Gang Bang.  On this occasion, I was had a few extra hours away from home so I did not have to race home first thing in the morning.  I had heard so much about how nice it could be to spend time with Lifestyle friends outside of the Club scene.  It was a beautiful sunny day – not too hot - and the perfect day to lounge on the beach.  Ron and Nora took me to their preferred clothing optional beach.  It was my first experience at a nude beach - Ron and Nora have been around for so many of my “firsts” over the last eight months!  When we arrived at the beach, I was only momentarily hesitant to disrobe and then realized that was an utterly ridiculous feeling given the extent to which I had shared my body over the last few months and how much of that was in a exceptionally exhibitionist fashion.

I was only at the beach for about an hour and a half or so before I had to head back home to relieve the babysitter. After a quick beach picnic, Ron took my hand and led me down the beach so I could get a feel for the place. It was a nice walk and ended with an introduction to a man named Fabio, whom Ron had known for years in the Lifestyle and to whom he had introduced several women who had became subsequent play partners of Fabio’s.

Fabio was without a doubt one of the most beautiful men that I have ever had the pleasure to witness in the buff – or otherwise for that matter.  Granted I only saw his backside, but WOW was he striking!  His bronzed, muscular body and tantalizingly firm buttocks glistened in the sun while he lay on his stomach soaking up the radiant sun.  His dark hair cascaded down his shoulders and his piercing blue eyes seemingly looked directly into the depths of my obvious animalistic desire, almost caressing me as we talked.  He was a stunning creature by any measure.  I am rarely that enthralled by the physical aspects of a man but here I was decidedly yearning for the opportunity to touch and feel this magnificent human specimen. Phenomenally superficial of me? Perhaps, but you only live once and I had never had my hands on a man as sinfully delectable as Fabio.

Ron, Fabio and I chatted briefly.  But verbal intercourse was merely a ruse to establish a profound concupiscent connection.  As Ron and I walked away from Fabio, I knew that should our paths cross again we would, no doubt, immerse ourselves in breathtaking licentious sex.   Our mutual carnal desire was unmistakable and without a doubt perceptible to those observing our exchange.

Ron escorted me back off the island to my car while Nora decided to remain on the beach and soak up the warm, glorious sunrays.  As we started back to Ron and Nora’s car I looked over and saw Fabio deliberately watching me with an intense penetrating stare as I walked off the beach with Ron. It was crystal clear that we were both fantastically keen to experience the alluring physical pleasures that a sexual union would produce.

Jump forward two weeks. 

Nick had arranged for me to meet up with Ron and Nora in a nearby town and drive to a club for a two-night extravaganza at my favorite adult social club.  The plan was that I would spend Friday night at the club on my own, and that Nick would join me for Saturday evening.  It was an incredibly generous arrangement.  Nick was extraordinarily thoughtful to arrange it.

We first saw Fabio as we drove on to the grounds of the club and an elated lascivious smile emerged from my lips.  Despite his nonchalance, Fabio’s mesmerizing gaze beguiled me, his eyes undressed me in a flash and his ardor was unmistakable in the sensual twinkle in his eyes. – all that while still sitting in the passenger’s seat of Ron and Nora’s SUV!  My anticipation of the possible expanded exponentially and I knew that this night would a wickedly sensually indulgent night.  My anticipation for what was to come soared.

Fabio and I encountered each other again up near the sleeping rooms where we chatted a bit.  I was walking with Nora, who knew that I was wickedly lustful for Fabio, when we stopped to chat with Fabio.  It turned out that Fabio is involved in a medical field that I was in acute need of a mere few months earlier.  So we had a bit of something in common – even if from an awkward vantage. Through out the evening, I observed Fabio sitting alone at times and chatting with people at other times. Fabio and I were discretely observing each other, intermittently gauging opportunity and determining our next moves….a game in which I seldom engage.  Fabio was clearly used to being pursued by women.  He was not inclined to make the first move and at this point in the evening, neither was I.  I wanted to spend some quality fucking time with Ron.

Needless to say there was phenomenal sex to be had and that, as usual, Ron and I were quick to get our hands in each other’s pants once we arrived at the club.  And predictably, wonderful blissfully orgasmic sex ensued.  Once again after dinner Ron and I headed up to the play area for another breathtaking round of sex.  After a terrific, earth moving fuck with stellar orgasms in the froggie chair, Ron and I took a breather and came back downstairs from the play space looking for Nora and wondering if we could find someone to make our threesome into a foursome.  My wantonness was in full bloom and I was ready to keep fucking and bask in orgasm after orgasm for hours to come.

At the same moment, Ron and I saw Fabio standing across the room unattended, free and simply oozing with sexuality, sensuality and desirability.  Ron suggested we talk with Fabio to see if we could get him to join the three of us.  But, I had other less inclusive plans.  I smiled seductively, walked directly up to Fabio, and gazed intently into his eyes, which resulted in a powerful visual exchange of desire that burgeoned and flourished as the moments passed.  I rapidly felt the intense pull of our mutual longing on my inner  primal being.  I felt my breath shorten, heat began to expand in my groin and a crowded field of small delicate butterflies fluttered madly inside my abdomen.  Fabio locked his eyes on mine with such intensity that I was sure he could see into my soul.  His powerful energy was focused directly onto me with such force that it was palpable, almost overwhelmingly so.  Our energies were dancing around each other with startling vitality with frenzied intentions while a convergence of potent, oddly spiritual, power connected us together is such a way that I dared not draw away.

Ron recognized the sexual potentiality developing between Fabio and myself, and upon my urging quickly retreated to find Nora.  I did not see Ron or Nora again until hours later.  Fabio and I were alone in a vibrant, intimate cocoon of our own making.  I was completely unaware of our surroundings as we began touching and kissing cautiously and then passionately.  Our chemical cocktail was potent and we were lost in the confluence of our swirling sexual energy.  After what seemed like an eternity and yet only a blink of the eye, we resolved to head upstairs to merge our libertine desires in what would no doubt be a copulatory event of epic proportions – if only I had had any idea...

We parted briefly while I went into the sleeping area to change from my somewhat modest long sleeved dress into sexy black lace lingerie.  Somehow we met up again and yet lost track of each other near the downstairs locker room.  When Fabio appeared to disappear, I planted myself on the large bed in front of the continuous loop porn screen and wondered about what was to come.  Having a moment to step apart was disconcerting because the bewitching prelude with Fabio had taken me aback.  It made me alternatingly thrilled in anticipation about what was to come and somewhat wary – in hindsight, a feeling that I should have heeded.  I had never felt that level of energy transfer before with anyone and did not understand its intensity. I felt raw and exposed in an unfamiliar way. But, given the incredible sexual intensity of our exchanges so far, I knew that I wanted to experience all that he could offer and share with me. 

Fabio selected a lower bed with “good energy” in the sultry red section of the upstairs play area.  The bed had privacy curtains which when drawn rendered the interior black with darkness. Only the occasional stream of light peeking in through the curtains provided any illumination in our libidinous sanctuary.

Fabio and I rapidly succumbed into a whirl of sexual abandon.  Our lips met and passionate kissing merged into a nearly unbroken connection as we urgently explored each other’s bodies.  His hands roamed hungrily over my exquisitely desirous body.  My hands greedily traversed his strong, muscular back, shoulders and arms. A vitality and sexual prowess radiated from his luscious skin and sent my desire soaring. Fabio’s intensity had me spellbound and ravenous for a union of our mutual wanton desires.

Our sexual energy was swirling, twirling, and entwined.  His fingers inside my cunt skillfully brought me to a series of gentle rolling orgasms leaving me wanting more and more.  I was enraptured.  When Fabio entered me it felt like a spiritual merging of our energy, an energetic lustful bending of spirits. It was an entirely unfamiliar overwhelmingly intense sensation.  Far more than a blissfully orgasmic fuck, it was an exchange of energy, a momentary touching of souls.  Time stopped leaving me in a vacuous abyss of sheer ecstasy; I had no valid sense for the sexual merging other than its incredible intensity, its phenomenal depth of reach.  Orgasmically delicious and utterly drenched in undulating passion, our encounter was one of the most extraordinary sexual encounters I have ever experienced. It was simply unprecedented.

Everything was perfect until I realized that he had blatantly disregarded my expressed wishes and did not wear a condom.  This was the one hard limit that Nick and I had established.  The realization was devastating because I knew that Nick would not deal well with the news.  And I knew that I had to tell him as soon as possible.

Facts:

* Fabio and I discussed the requisite use of a condom for penetration as the one hard boundary set between Nick and myself for non-monogamous sexual play.  Fabio emphatically responded, “Yes, of course!” His voice expressing concern, understanding and genuine agreement.

*Our carnal sanctuary was virtually black with the occasional streams of light serving to obscure vision rather than enhance vision. 

* I mistakenly trusted Fabio to honor his word and was woefully deceived.  

* Upon distressfully asking Fabio why he choose to not honor my wishes, he responded in a low husky voice and said, “Because, that is not what I do.”

When I left Fabio, I showered vigorously trying to remove the residue of deceit, went to the sleeping room and sat on the edge of the sleeping mats trying to understand what just happened. I was dreadfully troubled and exceedingly perplexed about the course of events. Ron and Nora were already down for the night, but Ron saw me enter and came to talk with me.  We ended up sitting in the hot tub talking through what happened to try and help me work through it in my mind. Ron reinforced that I needed to be completely honest and tell Nick as soon as possible.

Just before turning in, I saw Fabio preparing to depart the club for the night.  I approached him and again inquired about why he choose not respect my clear requirement for condom usage.   He was emphatic and demonstrative in his presentation. He said that he “did not understand” and he was “sorry.”  He asked over and over again if I “was ok.”  He took my hand and placed it on his heart and said, “this is hurting me here,” as if my actions could possibly be causing him pain – as he had made the purposefully choice to deceive me. Fabio’s response served to confound me further.  I informed Fabio that I would have to explain to my husband what happened and that Nick would not be happy. And that projection turned out to be a considerable understatement.